


I Figured It Out

by Dont_Stop_Larry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Come on come on then, M/M, but its only a phone conversation don't freak out, but of course my larry ass has side larry in it, fetus ziam, first published Ziam fic, i think it's pretty good, little bit of Liam/Danielle, that's all, this is the third time I've changed the tags cause I'm bad at ziam stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 11:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11207358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dont_Stop_Larry/pseuds/Dont_Stop_Larry
Summary: Zayn: Hmmm … I shouldn’t even be telling this but … one day, Liam and I were goofing around and we ended up kissing. But it was only a joke I swearLiam: I ended up kissing Zayn once. Zayn was like “Come on then, come on,” putting his head close to me – like when you’re going to have a fight. Then he just leaned forward and kissed me.or the one where Liam and Zayn have their first kiss.





	I Figured It Out

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so here we are again! This is my first ever Ziam fic that I've posted for people to read, so don't be to harsh with me. I wrote this originally as just a little drabble type thing, cause I was writing a Larry one and Missy was talking about the confirmed first kiss for Ziam and I was like ... hey, why not? Let's give it a try, and here we are!
> 
> Special thanks to @happily_missy for being my beta on this one, she knows Ziam way better than I do, and my soft Larry writing always leaks through haha.
> 
> Hope you guys like it, please feel free to leave comments/kudos, they are both appreciated!
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> L .xx

                All Liam could think was thank _god_ he was off that bus. Harry, Louis, and Niall were so much sometimes, and Liam really just wanted to lay on his bed and watch movies with Zayn - which was really hard to do when the others were always playing video games and fucking around on the bus.

                They had been a band for a little over a year now, and Liam loved all of his boys, but he still felt kind of like the dad of the group. He was always making sure the other lads didn’t say something they shouldn’t or didn’t get into any trouble, which was particularly hard to do. Even Louis, who was the oldest, didn’t seem to want to fill that role. But when Liam was with Zayn, he could let his guard down. He didn’t have to be ‘Daddy Direction’ in that moment … he could just be Liam Payne, resident super hero enthusiast and best friend of Zayn Malik.

                Liam threw his stuff on the floor and immediately stripped his shirt off, hoping to grab a quick shower. Being on the bus for long hours made him feel kind of nasty. Before he could get to the bathroom, however, Zayn struggled in with his suitcase and stopped dead in his tracks, clutching his chest.

                “God, Liam, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Had no idea you were up here yet, mate,” Zayn said, laughing it off, and a smile lit up Liam’s face at once.

                “Gonna grab a shower, if you don’t mind, and then we can do whatever you want,” Liam responded, headed for the bathroom. He couldn’t help but notice how Zayn’s gaze lingered on his bare chest for a moment longer than was necessary, but he didn’t have time to think about that right now. He just wanted to be clean so he could snuggle under the covers with Zayn and watch movies till he fell asleep. He most definitely wasn’t thinking about how Zayn looked without a shirt on … definitely not. And even if he was, so what? Zayn was fit, Liam had no trouble admitting that.

 

                Liam emerged from the bathroom, hair damp and feeling a lot better, to find Zayn digging through his suitcase, searching for something. Liam jumped onto the bed, sprawling out and clicking the TV on.

                Zayn made a noise of triumph as he found the cable to connect his laptop to the TV, and Liam sat back, watching as Zayn got everything setup before joining him in the bed.

                “So, what’s on the schedule for tonight, Zaynie?” Liam asked, pulling the covers out from under them and crawling underneath. Zayn did the same, pulling Liam to his chest like they always did.

                “Well, I was thinking about maybe some _Iron Man_ , and then _Batman_ , you know, to balance it out, yeah?” Zayn looked sheepish, but Liam just rolled his eyes.

                “I must love you a lot to watch _Iron Man_ first,” he said in fake exasperation, and Zayn just smiled knowingly, using his phone to start the movie. Liam leaned back against Zayn’s chest and listened to the opening music. He knew that Zayn was waiting for his complaints; Liam really despised the _Iron Man_ films, and Zayn knew it, but Liam figured he’d better be nice if he didn’t want to be kicked out of this nice warm bed and forced to sleep by himself. He always slept better with Zayn, for some reason.

                Liam made it halfway through the movie before he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

                “Honestly, Z, what is so special about Iron Man? Like yeah, he’s got a cool suit or whatever, but he doesn’t really do much other than piss people off.”

                Zayn sat up, shoving Liam away playfully. “Says the guy who likes a superhero with absolutely no powers, electronic suit ones or otherwise, who rides around in a car he named the _Batmobile_ with a half-dressed sidekick who is probably most definitely a bit in love with him.”

                “You take that back … Robin is just loyal to Batman, that’s all. And Batman proves that not all superheroes need powers to fight evil.”

                “Iron Man doesn’t have powers either, he’s just really fucking smart,” Zayn complained, but when Liam shook his head, Zayn took it to the next level, climbing on top of Liam and pinning him down.

                “Take it back, Li. M’not getting up till you do.”

                “Get off me, you wanker.”

                Liam and Zayn struggled, wrestling and getting all tangled up in the covers, nearly falling out of the bed as Iron Man continued to play in the background. Finally they stopped, panting, and Zayn hovered over Liam, his face impossibly close to Liam’s.

                “Come on then, come on. Show me how much better Batman is than Iron Man …” Zayn breathed, but Liam was frozen, unable to make any intelligent sound because of Zayn’s close proximity. Liam was so confused … he’d never reacted this way to Zayn, or any of the other boys for that matter, being this close to him before, but here he was.

                Zayn stared down at him, still breathing harder than usual, and just as Liam opened his mouth to say something, it happened. Zayn’s head moved forward, closing the few inches between them, and his lips touched Liam’s. It was brief and almost nonexistent, but it happened, and if Liam had been unable to move before, it was nothing to how he felt right now.

                Zayn moved away from Liam’s face and climbed off of him at once. Liam just laid there, his numb brain trying to process what had just happened.

                “I … sorry about that, Li. My arm slipped. Didn’t mean to practically snog you there,” Zayn said after a moment, his voice sounding genuine enough, but Liam could barely hear the words. He sat up and hopped off the bed, startling Zayn. “Where you goin?”

                “Need some air …” Liam said hoarsely, and he grabbed a sweatshirt, not really caring if it was his own or Zayn’s … he just needed to get out of there, and fast.

                Liam ran down the hallway and practically pounded on a door, now starting to feel slightly sick as his body caught up with his brain. He couldn’t handle this, not alone, he needed …

                “Liam? What’s up, mate?” Louis stood in the doorway, looking a bit rumpled, staring at him through bleary eyes. He must have been asleep, but Liam didn’t have time to feel bad for waking him up. He and Louis weren’t all that close – actually, their friendship was probably the most distant in the band. They got on each other’s nerves a lot, and it was always Louis getting into trouble and Liam having to cover for him. But right now, Liam needed someone to talk to about this, and he knew that Louis would be the only one able to help him.

                “I … umm, I just … I need to talk to someone … I’m very confused, and I just … can you help me?” Liam couldn’t find the words to properly describe what he was trying to say, but Louis didn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, he opened the door immediately, allowing Liam to come inside.

                Harry was laying on one of the beds, but he sat up as Liam came in, Louis closing the door behind him.

                “Liam, it’s late, what’s up?” he asked, but Liam shook his head. He was actually going to be sick, he knew it. Louis sat down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders in an effort to calm him down. Louis might be an idiot, but he was pretty perceptive with people.

                “Hey, just relax. It’s just us … you can talk to us about anything, remember? A band of brothers and all that?” Louis said softly, and Liam nodded, swallowing and trying to get ahold of himself.

                “I … I think I might like someone,” Liam said carefully, and Louis and Harry looked even more confused than before.

                “I should bloody hope so, or Dani is gonna be really confused the next time she comes to-” Louis began, his voice teasing, but Liam cut him off sharply.

                “No. Not … I mean someone else …”

                Harry now moved to sit on his other side, looking at him with those bright green eyes. Liam could kind of see why Louis had fallen in love with him, but that wasn’t the point.

                “Well, I’m sure if you talk to Dani, and to this girl, everything might work out,” Harry said slowly, and Liam shook his head, grabbing at his hair.

                “Not … not a girl, Haz.”

                Harry’s mouth dropped open in shock, and Liam buried his face in his hands, unable to go on. Louis was silent for a moment before speaking.

                “Zayn. It’s Zayn, isn’t it?”

                Liam looked up at once, but Louis clearly wasn’t messing around. He was looking at Liam steadily, absolutely dead serious, which was a rarity for Louis Tomlinson.

                “I … how did you …” Liam stammered, and Louis rolled his eyes.

                “Ok, I may be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but I’m not fucking stupid. I’ve seen your eyes following him everywhere he goes, and trust me, if you’re as gone for him as he is for you, we’ve got competition.”

                Louis winked at Harry, who blushed right down to the collar of his shirt, and Liam stood up, so easily frustrated in his confused and terrified state.

                “Guys, this isn’t the time for flirting … god knows you do enough of that on the fucking bus. I don’t know what to do!” Liam nearly shouted, and Harry and Louis both looked up at him, having the decency to look a bit ashamed.

                “You’re right, you’re right. Sorry, mate. Sit down … tell us what happened.”

                Louis patted the bed next to him, but Liam opted to sit on the other bed, facing them, so he could have a bit of space … he didn’t want to feel crowded right now.

                “We were just watching a movie, and having our usual argument about who’s better, Iron Man or Batman. And we were just messing around, I swear, but he … he kissed me.”

                Louis and Harry listened as Liam tried to explain more, but Liam just couldn’t form words properly, and the three of them just sat there for a minute, thinking about it.

                “And then what?” Harry asked, and Liam looked up, confused.

                “And then what what?”

                “What did you do after he kissed you?”

                Liam gulped. “I … I said I needed air and I left him in there.” And as the words came out of his mouth he realized what a dick move that had been and he felt even worse than before.

                Harry groaned. “Oh, Liam, you idiot …”

                Louis nudged Harry and stood up to come over to Liam. “What Harry means to say is that you probably shouldn’t have just left him there … he probably thinks he did something completely wrong and that you hate him.”

                Liam looked between Harry and Louis, their reactions exactly the opposite of what he had been expecting. He had expected Louis to be brash and call him out for his stupidity, and for Harry to be the gentle one, but right now, it was like they’d switched personalities.

                “But I don’t hate him, how could I hate Zaynie?” Liam said softly, and Louis’ face fell slightly.

                “Liam, just answer me this. Did you like it?”

                Liam looked up at Louis’ ernest blue eyes, and, looking down, he nodded.

                “I did … I really did. The only thing I wanted was for him to kiss me again … but I’m with Dani. I have a fucking girlfriend … I’m not gay, am I?”

                Harry and Louis exchanged a look, and Louis bit his lip before responding. “Li, mate, I went through this exact same thought process when Harry kissed me for the first time. Although, I can say that I was probably more gone for him than I’ve ever been in my life, so it didn’t take much convincing for me, but …” Louis thought before continuing. “You liking Zayn doesn’t make you any less of a person. Being gay, or having questions … that’s not a bad thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I promise. I realized i was in love with Harry while I had a girlfriend, but breaking up with her and being with Harry was probably the best decision of my life.”

                “But … what am I gonna do? I can’t just break up with Dani, not after all we’ve been through. But I don’t want to tell Zayn no … because I want to say yes. I want everything with him.”

                Liam didn’t know where his words were coming from, but he knew they were all true. He had been watching Zayn for weeks. He knew the attraction was there, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. But right now, in this moment, he knew what he wanted. He wanted Zayn.

                “Just trust me … Zayn just wants to know that it’s ok. That it’s not a big deal, what he did. If you’re not ready to tell him, or you’re not sure yet, then don’t jump into it just yet. You just need to go back to that room and make sure that Zayn is ok … he’s really sensitive, more than you know, and you’re his best friend.”

                Liam stared at Harry as he said this, unaware that Harry and Zayn were so close that Harry knew all this, but then again, everyone was close to Harry, everyone trusted Harry. That’s just how Harry was … easy to befriend, easy to love.

                Liam looked at Louis, who nodded, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. “Harry’s right, Li. Go back to your room and tell Zayn it’s ok. And we can talk more about this in the morning, if you want.”

                Liam nodded and Louis walked him to the door of their room, holding it open for him. Liam turned to Louis before leaving, unsure of how to thank him.

                “Louis, I …”

                “Don’t mention it, mate. What are brothers for?” Louis said, a small smirk pulling his lips upwards as he clapped Liam on the shoulder. Liam nodded and hurried back towards his and Zayn’s room. He dug his key out from his pocket, slid it into the card reader, and opened the door.

                “Zayn, I’m sorry I was gone so long, I … Zayn?”

                The room was empty. Liam looked round the whole room, checked the bathroom and the closet, but Zayn was nowhere to be found. He wasn’t even out on the balcony having a smoke. Liam sat down on the bed, knowing deep down that he was the reason Zayn wasn’t here, but that didn’t stop him from sending Zayn about 20 texts asking where he was. Liam curled up under the covers, the pillow his head was on still smelling very faintly of Zayn shampoo. Outside, it had started to rain; Liam could hear the drops pelting the window. He didn’t sleep a wink that night.

***

 

 

                Next morning, Liam was awakened from his half-asleep stupor by a loud pounding on his door. He blinked his eyes open, confused and suddenly terrified that he’d forgotten something they had to do that morning. He jumped out of bed and opened the door, babbling.

                “Oh, god, I’m sorry, what have I missed? Where does Lou need me for hair? What color are we wearing today? What time-”

                “Calm down, mate, it’s just me,” came a thick Irish accent, and Liam stood aside as Niall forced his way into the room.

                “Nialler …s’too early for this,” Liam groaned as he followed Niall back into his room. He was exhausted, but of course, that was doing nothing to stop Niall, who had taken a seat on Liam’s bed.

                “What’s up with Zayn?” Niall asked, and suddenly, Liam was wide awake.

                “W-what do you mean?” Liam responded carefully, not sure what exactly Niall was referring to.

                “Well, he had texted me during the movie you guys were watching last night, saying he’d come over after it was done and just hang around, since I couldn’t sleep. But he never showed. Do you know where he is?”  
                Liam shook his head, the tension and anxious feeling from the night before returning in full. “Wait … so Zayn’s not with you?”

                “No, of course not! I thought he was with you!”

                “No, he … he disappeared last night …” Liam managed to get the words out, but his panic was rising in his throat.

                “And you didn’t bother to ask where he was going?” Niall said in exasperation, but before Liam could come up with a proper answer, there was another knock on the door, and Niall went to answer it. Louis and Harry came into the room, looking around.

                “Have you guys seen Zayn?” Liam asked at once, and both of them looked at each other.

                “Um … no? We were wondering if you’d seen him, actually. We figured he’d be here with you,” Harry said after a moment, raising his eyebrows, but Liam shook his head a fraction of an inch to each side, trying to indicate that Niall didn’t have any idea about anything that had happened the night before.

                “Then where the hell is he?” Louis asked, and Liam just pressed his lips together.

                “I don’t know, but we have to find him. Paul’s not gonna be happy if he finds out one of us has gone missing …” Niall said, and without another word, Liam was up off the bed, throwing on clothes and shoes. Whether the other boys all knew it or not, this was entirely Liam’s fault, and therefore, Liam was going to go find Zayn, even if it took him all day.

                Liam was just in the process of pulling on his left shoe, hopping his way towards the doorway, when the door opened once again, and in walked Zayn. The other four boys stopped moving and just stared at him.

                He didn’t look good. His eyes were red and puffy and he smelled strongly of both cigarette smoke and weed. His clothes were damp and hanging loosely off him, like he’d walked outside in the rain and they had almost dried.

                “Z, where have you been? We were all just about to come looking for ya,” Niall said, standing up and moving forward to hug Zayn, but stopping as the smell hit him.

                “Just went for a walk. Couldn’t sleep,” Zayn mumbled, not looking at Liam. Liam’s heart clenched at the tone of Zayn’s voice … it was almost dead sounding, completely void of any emotion.

                “Are you alright? You look …” Louis began, moving forward as well, but Zayn just shrugged past him, picking up random items off the floor of the hotel room and throwing them into his suitcase.

                “M’fine, Lou. No worries. Just tired. Need a nap, maybe,” Zayn said, still in the quiet, dead voice, and without another word, Zayn sat down on the still made bed, not facing any of the other boys. Niall, Harry, and Louis took that as their cue to leave, and Louis gave Liam a pointed look before leaving the room.

                When it was just Liam and Zayn, Liam figured he’d better speak up.

                “Zayn, are you sure you’re ok?”

                “I’m fine, Liam, didn’t you hear me the first time?” Zayn snapped, and Liam flinched at the hardness of Zayn’s voice.

                “Oh … ok, I’m sorry, I just wanted to be sure. You just really seem like you could use a hug or something.”

                “I could … but not from you.”

                Zayn’s words hit Liam like a truck, and he tried desperately to swallow past the lump in his throat.

                “Zayn, I …”

                “I don’t care, Liam. It’s whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

                Liam swallowed his apology and began picking things up off the floor as well, just for something to do. It was amazing how much their stuff got everywhere, even just being in the hotel room for the one night.

                Liam didn’t look up again until he heard the zipper of Zayn’s suitcase, and his gaze landed on Zayn, completely packed and heading for the door.

                “Wait, Z, where’re you going?” Liam asked, hastening to follow, but he stopped at the look Zayn gave him.

                “Think m’gonna spend the next few nights with Niall. I can’t be in here right now.”

                Liam felt tears filling his eyes, but he couldn’t get his mouth to form words. He wanted to say no, he wanted to beg Zayn to stay, he wanted to say that it was all a mistake and that he loved Zayn and wanted to try this with him, even if he didn’t know what this was or how to handle it, but he couldn’t. He watched as Zayn placed his key card on the counter of the bathroom, opened the door, and left. It was only when the door clicked shut that Liam let the tears slide down his cheeks.

 

                The next two days were agony. They didn’t have anything scheduled, but because of the number of people outside their hotel, it wasn’t smart for them to venture out. So they were confined to their rooms, and Liam had never felt more alone. He thought many times about going over to spend time with Louis and Harry, but he was sure that they were doing things he most definitely didn’t want to be a part of. And obviously he couldn’t go see Niall, because Zayn was with Niall, and Zayn had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be anywhere Liam.

                But there was just the plain fact that Liam missed Zayn. He missed him so much that his chest actually hurt from how much he was holding in. He didn’t want to cry over this. It was all his fault anyway, and he didn’t think he had the right to cry about something that he caused. But he didn’t know how to fix it. Zayn wouldn’t come near him, he couldn’t hope to talk to Louis again, at least, not until their concert the next night, and even then, Louis would be glued to Harry or playing some ridiculous prank on the stage crew.

                Liam had to fix this, and he had to do it now. He couldn’t stand his best friend hating him. He needed Zayn back. He needed his boy back.

                Liam sighed and decided the only thing he could do was text his girlfriend. If he was gonna start anywhere, he had to be honest with her, even if it would get ugly.

 

**Liam:** Dani, we need to talk.

**Dani** **❤** **:** Well, that’s never good. You’re not breaking up with me, are ya, haha.

**Liam:** can I call you?

 

Liam was wracking his brain, trying to think of what to say while waiting for Dani’s response when his phone rang, and he saw Danielle’s name light up his screen. He sighed and picked up.

                “You’re not actually breaking up with me, are you? Cause I was just joking,” her voice, which used to soothe him and make him feel safe, didn’t do that anymore.

                “Dani, please, let me explain … I want to do right by you, and I have to be honest with myself as well as you if I’m gonna do that.”

                He heard Danielle sniff and sigh on the other end, and he knew that she was waiting for an explanation.

                “Look, I love you. I care about you so much. But … I’ve been noticing feelings for someone else, someone I’m really close to, and they just keep growing, and I don’t think it’s fair to you. I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to make sure neither of us are making a mistake by staying together. The truth is that I really like this person, and I don’t know what to do.”

                Liam breathed a sigh of relief when he finished, and he waited with bated breath for Danielle to respond. After a moment, he heard her voice.

                “I know. You’re right.”

                Liam’s mouth dropped open. “You … wait, what?”

                “I know about Zayn.”

                Liam just stood there, for he had been pacing his room the whole time, but at Danielle’s confession, he stopped in his tracks, utterly confused. How did everyone know he liked Zayn before he did?

                “I didn’t even … how did you …” Liam stuttered, and Danielle gave a small laugh.

                “Liam, I love you, but I’m not blind. Or deaf, though sometimes, I wish I was, the way you go rambling on about something Zayn did or something he said, or what he was wearing. I’m honestly surprised it took you this long to figure it out.”

                “Dani, I …” Liam tried to speak, but the fact that his own girlfriend, or whatever she was to him now, had figured out that he wasn’t straight before he had was almost too much for him to comprehend right now.

                “You’re probably wondering why I stayed with you, then, if I knew you weren’t, well, into me like that. I guess I knew it was a lost cause, but something in me made me hold on … I thought maybe you might fall for me, that maybe it was just a phase. But it wasn’t. And I guess I understand.”

                Liam was silent for a moment more before finding his voice again. “I … I don’t know how to thank you, Dani. You’re too good to me, always have been. I didn’t want it to end like this.”

                “It’s ok. I’ll get over it, I suppose. Just … I want you to be happy, alright? And if he makes you happy, then … well, I’ll just go, then. Goodnight, Liam.”

                She hung up and Liam sat down in a chair, his phone in his lap, in awe. He wasn’t sure what to think right now, but one thought penetrated his numb brain: He was single, which meant that his next objective was simple. He needed to tell Zayn how he felt, one way or the other.

***

                After Liam’s phone call with Danielle that morning, he decided to devote the rest of the day to Zayn. Trying to come up with something, anything, that could make things ok between him and Zayn again, but they were all now warming up backstage and he didn’t have a single thing that was worth trying. He had tried talking to Louis and Harry, but they were having their pre-concert make-out session in their shared dressing room, and Liam was not about to interrupt that. So he had no choice … he had to go to Niall and tell him what happened and hope and pray that Niall could help him out.

                He went to Niall’s dressing room, singing through a few vocal exercises as he went, but Niall wasn’t there. Liam wandered up and down the hall a few times and was just about to give up when he saw Niall slipping out of Zayn’s dressing room.

                “Niall, wait up,” Liam called frantically, and Niall turned, giving Liam his usual smile.

                “What’s up, Li?” Niall asked, clapping him on the back as Liam fell into step beside him.

                “I, umm, well, I was wondering if you could help me out with something. It … has to do with Zayn, actually.” Liam regretted saying it the moment he saw the look on Niall’s face. Niall stopped walking and took a deep breath, looking at Liam seriously.

                “I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I really don’t wanna be in the middle of it, alright? That’s what I was just in there telling him. All I know is he’s hurting, a lot, and it’s apparently your fault. I want to help, I do, but it’s best if I just stay out of it,  I’m sorry, mate.”

                Liam watched as Niall opened the door to his dressing room, gave Liam a sympathetic look, and closed the door again. He stood at the door for a solid minute before walking slowly back to his own room and sitting on the small couch. What was he supposed to do now? Zayn wasn’t talking to him, Niall wasn’t getting involved, and Harry and Louis were off doing god knows what down the hall.

                The tears came before Liam could stop them, and he just let them fall. His frustration was overwhelming.

                “Hey, Liam, you almost … Li, you alright?”

                It was Harry’s voice that made Liam’s head snap up, and he wiped his cheeks furiously, trying to act like he hadn’t been well on his way to a complete emotional breakdown.

                “Yeah, H, yeah, m’fine. What is it?”

                “It’s almost show time, just thought I’d come check … you’re usually the first one waiting backstage, that’s all.” Harry was giving him the look he gave any of the boys when they were holding something back. It wasn’t that Harry was nosy, he just hated seeing people sad, he always wanted to help. But sometimes, Liam just needed to deal with things on his own.

                “It’s nothing, Haz, I’ll be fine. We’ve got a show to do, yeah? So let’s go do it.”

                Liam stood, pushed past Harry, perhaps more roughly than he intended to, and stalked down the hallway towards the figures of Louis, Niall, and Zayn at the other end.

                When he reached them, Louis greeted him with a smirk, as per usual, and Niall with a sad sort of smile. Zayn, however, merely turned away so he didn’t have to look at Liam. Liam felt his heart break into a thousand pieces, but he had to ignore it. _Show. Fans. Must look happy._

                “Everyone ready, then?” Liam asked, and Harry, Louis, and Niall nodded, smiling eagerly. Zayn didn’t respond, but he did at least turn around to do their traditional pre-concert chant. As they finished that and the screams intensified, Liam knew that there was only one way to go about fixing this, at least until he and Zayn could have a proper talk … he’d have to charm Zayn, and he knew exactly how to do it.

***

                “Thank you for having us, we’re One Direction. What a beautiful crowd we’ve got tonight,” Harry said loudly, and he was answered by deafening screams. They were only four songs in and Liam felt almost back to normal. He was where he always wanted to be: on stage in front of a crowd with his four best mates. The only thing still missing was Zayn.

                Liam was very accustomed to him and Zayn messing around on stage and making little jokes at each other while the other boys were talking, but tonight, Zayn was keeping his distance. Liam couldn’t have that. He needed Zayn to know how much he was missing him, but every time he got near Zayn, Zayn would immediately walk the other way or interact with one of the other lads. Liam was striking out hard tonight.

                The opening chords for More Than This sounded in his ear-ins and he quickly brought himself out of his thoughts as he came in with his solo. He put his hand to his chest as he belted out the words, “ _I’m broken, do you hear me … ”,_ turning almost subconsciously towards Zayn, who was on the other side of the stage. As Harry took over, Liam saw him shoot a look between him and Zayn, and a small smile appeared on his face as he slowly moved to the other side of Zayn, forcing Zayn into the center of the stage.

                Louis came in for his verse and moved smoothly out of the way as Liam made his way towards Zayn, not even caring that they were in front of thousands of fans.

                Zayn started the bridge, and it suddenly hit Liam how much he had really missed Zayn. He missed his voice, he missed his amazing Bradford accent, he missed everything about him, and at this moment, he just wanted his best friend back.

                Zayn turned to find Liam right next to him and looked ready to move, but the other boys, even Niall, closed in so that it was Liam and Zayn in the middle of the stage. Liam looked straight at Zayn, singing his lead into the final chorus, and Zayn just stared at him, almost missing his cue. That was something, and Liam felt his heart leap. He felt more in his element, more confident, and as they finished the song, he couldn’t help thinking that maybe, just maybe, what he was trying to do was working.

                With that new boldness and courage, Liam slung an arm around Zayn’s shoulders, pulling him into a sideways hug. He sung out the last line of the song, “ _could love you more than this,”_ and turned his face to Zayn, studying his fluttering eyelashes and saw a small smile creep onto the boys face.

                Liam beamed.

                “That was More Than This, thank you so much. And let’s give a hand for Mr. Zayn Malik. Didn’t he sound amazing?” Liam said, and the crowd roared their approval. Liam looked sideways at Zayn and saw a little color in his cheeks, his lips almost lifting in what could be considered a smile.

                “HE’S ALWAYS AMAZING,” came a scream from the crowd, and everyone laughed, even Zayn, whose face was now a beautiful shade of pink from both embarrassment and a bit of pride.

                Liam nodded in full agreement and the other boys murmured their praises as well. Liam smiled at Zayn, and Zayn actually smiled back, tucking himself under Liam’s arm like he usually did, and Liam could have cried with relief.

                “Let’s do some Twitter questions, shall we?” Louis said, his voice causing Liam to break his prolonged eye contact with Zayn, but as they walked towards the couch, Liam felt Zayn’s fingertips brush up against his ever so slightly. His hand was still tingling three songs later.

***

                Liam emerged from the backstage area sweaty and exhausted but grinning from ear to ear. The rush of being on stage didn’t compare to anything, and the fact that he and Zayn seemed ok again made it all the more amazing.

                “That was a great show tonight, yeah?” Louis said, and they all nodded, too tired to speak. Louis and Harry broke off from the rest of them, heading for their dressing room, and Niall stayed behind to help the stage crew. Liam moved so he was next to Zayn and nudged his shoulder playfully.

                “Hey,” Liam said hopefully, “so I was thinking maybe we could just stay up and watch a movie? I’m not gonna be able to sleep for a while, and I really-”

                Zayn stopped walking so abruptly that Liam almost ran into him, and when he righted himself, he felt the color drain out of his face. Zayn’s expression was something Liam couldn’t quite describe, but if he had to hazard a guess, it would probably have been the closest to disgust.

                “You think just because I was happy and smiled at you out there means we’re ok? This changes nothing, you got me?”

                Liam flinched as Zayn’s angry words washed over him, but hurried to grab his arm as Zayn made to hurry into his dressing room. “Wait, I don’t unders -”

                “Don’t touch me.”

                Zayn’s words cut like knives - this quiet anger was much worse than if Zayn had yelled at him - but Liam caught the tremor in his voice this time. He knew that tremor … Zayn was close to tears.

                “Zayn, please, I just want to-” Liam started, but once more, Zayn cut him off.

                “This. Changes. Nothing. Good night, Liam.”

                Zayn ripped his arm free of Liam’s grip and slammed the door in Liam’s face. Liam just stood there, gaping at the door, until he felt a hand on his arm.

                “Li … come on, we’ve gotta get going …”

                It was Louis. Liam allowed Louis to lead him blindly back to his dressing room, and, mechanically, he started picking up the clothes and empty bags of crisps that were strewn all over the floor. He didn’t even bother questioning why Louis had been listening to his and Zayn’s conversation. He just wanted to get out of there and go back to his room where he could be alone.

                He ended up in a car with just Louis on the way back to the hotel. Harry had been in such deep conversation with Niall about golf that Louis said he couldn’t stand to hear another word and hopped in after Liam, though Liam had a sneaking suspicion that Louis was there to comfort him, and that made him feel a little better. He needed someone there.

                They didn’t say anything for a while, but somehow, Louis ended up with his arm around Liam, which Liam allowed without comment. They were almost back to the hotel when Liam finally found words.

                “I don’t know how to fix it, Lou. I miss him.”

                “I know, Li. I know. If I could help you, I would, I just don’t know how to,” Louis said softly, giving Liam a little squeeze. Liam sighed, begging himself not to be that person that cried on Louis’ shoulder right in front of the hotel, and followed Louis as he climbed out of the car, adjusting his beanie and heading over towards the other car in search of Harry.

                The five of them crowded into the elevator together, Zayn staying as far from Liam as the limited space allowed. Liam stared at the floor, doing his best to keep all of his emotions inside. He was either going to go off on Zayn or just start crying, neither of which were good ideas, so he just bit the inside of his cheek and stayed silent.

                They got off the elevator and Zayn and Niall headed one way, Louis, Harry, and Liam going in the other direction.

                “Why don’t you come into our room, Li? We can watch a movie or something …” Louis offered, but Liam shook his head.

                “I just … I need to be alone right now. Thanks, though. Night, guys.”

                Louis and Harry nodded sympathetically, and Liam moved away from them towards his door, slipping the key into the card reader and opening the door to his room.

                The room seemed so sad and cold without Zayn, and though Liam had been in there alone for three days, it hurt even more than the day Zayn had left the room for Niall’s. Knowing that sleep was not in the cards for him, Liam stripped down to his boxers, packing everything carefully into this suitcase except for one pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt that he was pretty sure was Zayn’s. They stayed together so often that their clothes sometimes got into each other’s bags. He’d have to be up pretty early tomorrow to get on the bus, and he didn’t want to rummage for clothes half awake.

                He lay back onto the bed, hugging a pillow and turning on the TV. Familiar music blasted out of the speakers and Liam turned it down quickly before realizing just what he was watching. _Iron Man_ was on. Of fucking course, it had to be _Iron Man_. Every fucking thing he did reminded him of how he fucked it up with Zayn and how, by the looks of it, he would never fix it.

                Despite _Iron Man_ being his least favorite movie, he left it on, staring at the ceiling. Someone had managed to get up there and draw some pretty inappropriate things in Sharpie, and Liam almost laughed at them. He was never the best artist himself, but Zayn … Zayn was a master of art. Anything he wanted to draw, he could, and in multiple styles too. Art was just something that Zayn understood almost as much as he understood good music.

The ending credits of the movie were now playing, the main theme in the background, and Liam wished that Zayn was there with him, babbling some nonsense about how amazing Ironman was in his ear, maybe showing Liam some doodles he did of Ironman while watching the movie.

And then he sat straight up in the bed, an idea starting to form in his mind. He grabbed his phone and typed out a quick text to Louis, praying he would actually be near his phone.

**Liam:** Lou, get over here and bring Harry. I think I’ve got an idea …

***

                It took Liam probably 45 minutes to fully and properly explain what he wanted to do, in which time, Harry had almost fallen asleep twice on Louis’ shoulder.

                “Wow, Li, that’s a lot. How are we gonna get that all done in the next few hours?” Louis asked, jerking Harry out of his daze.

                “I … I don’t know, but I can’t do it alone. I’ve got to work on my part, and I need you guys to get the bus ready. Just take all my stuff from my bus and move it to his. Blankets, movies, all of it. I hate to ask this of you guys in the middle of the night, but I just …”

                “You need him back. And quite frankly, it sucks to have to be in the middle of you two arguing, so I’m in. Hazza?” Louis turned to his boyfriend, who jerked awake again and hummed absently, tucking his face into Louis’ neck.

                “Yeah, sure, s’fine, Lou,” he mumbled, and Liam almost laughed. Harry was such a clingy idiot when he was tired. And when he was drunk, but that was another story.

                “Alright then. Harry and I will get everything set up. You work on … whatever it is you’re gonna do. I hope this works,” Louis said in a sincere tone, putting his hand on Liam’s shoulder. Liam nodded in thanks, and Louis smiled, dragging a half-asleep Harry out the door.

                Liam sighed and rummaged through his perfectly packed suitcase until he found it. He had a small notebook he kept at the bottom of his bag, with all the song lyrics and ideas he’d ever come up with. All of them had one, but Liam never let anyone touch his, not even Zayn. He flipped through to a clean page, grabbed a spare pencil from the desk drawer, and sat down. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of Ironman, his tongue poking out as he began to roughly sketch the outline of the character. He erased the whole think six or seven times before it looked kind of decent, and then there was Batman. Lots of sharp edges and shading, two things Liam really, really sucked at when it came to art. Once he had that done, he had to work on the faces. Nothing he did satisfied him, but he finally just gave up, hoping they looked enough like what he had planned for Zayn to understand.

He tore out the page, and was just about to pack everything away again when he looked down at his notebook, seeing lyrics scrawled in the corners of pages and random pieces of paper sitting tucked in pages. One lyric, one he had been hoping to use on a future album, caught his eye, and he quickly scrawled the words on the bottom of his drawing, signing it when he was finished.

                He hurried to pack his suitcase, seeing the clock on the side table flashing 3 AM. One hour left till they were supposed to leave. Niall and Zayn had to be up by now, and Liam had to get down to the busses first. He hurried out of his room, leaving the key in the room as instructed and dragging his suitcase behind him. He had almost made it to the elevator when he saw Zayn’s door opening down the hall and he made a sharp left, heading for the stairs instead.

                He made it down the stairs and out the back door in record time, and thank goodness, there were no fans waiting for them this time. He looked up and saw Louis and Harry sneaking off of Bus 1, Louis’ and Zayn’s bus, looking exhausted but pleased.

                “Well?” Liam panted as he hurried up to them, and Louis smiled wearily.

                “We finished it. I couldn’t find your copy of _Ironman 2_ , though,” Louis answered, and Harry yawned, looking like a little puppy. Louis ruffled his curls, and Liam had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

                “Let me just leave this on the bus and I’ll go look for it. Niall and Zayn are on their way down here right now.” Liam hurried up the steps and gasped when he saw the inside of the bus. The couch was laid out in its bed form, the blankets were arranged nicely with pillows lining the top of the couch, and Liam’s stuff was all sitting nicely stacked in the corner where Louis usually kept his suitcase. Liam placed his suitcase next to the pile, left the drawing on the table, and hurried off the bus towards Bus 2.

                He hopped on board, not even bothering to interrupt Louis, who was kissing Harry’s cheeks and playing with his curls, trying to get him to laugh. He headed for their movie cabinet and rummaged through it. He hated when Louis was on this bus, he always messed up the ordered DVDs Liam had so carefully organized before their tour started. He finally found it and stood up, ready to hurry back to his bus, when there was a banging on the bus door. Louis stood, opened it, and then leaped out of the way as Zayn burst onto the bus, his face red and his eyes blazing with a mixture of emotions that Liam definitely couldn’t pinpoint.

                Before Liam even had a chance to move, Zayn had him pinned against the wall of the bus, his face inches from Liam’s and his breathing harsh.

                “What the fuck is this?” Zayn growled, but Liam was clueless until Zayn shook a piece of paper in front of Liam’s eyes. And then Liam understood, and his heart started beating faster. He swallowed, hoping that Zayn would let him talk this time.

                “I, umm, it’s a picture. You know, of us in superhero costumes. I thought you’d like it. I know I’m shit at drawing but I figured that an attempt would be better than nothing, but I understand if you don’t like it.”

                Zayn just stared at him for a minute, stuttering, before finally spitting out, “That’s not the fucking point Liam. Why did you do this? Why did you do all of that on my bus? Are you making fun of me, is that it? You think that because I kissed you, it’s some sort of joke? Cause it’s not, ok? It wasn’t a joke!”

                Liam saw, over Zayn’s shoulder, Harry and Louis, accompanied by Niall, who had appeared out of nowhere, backing slowly off the bus, and then Liam turned his attention back to Zayn. He opened his mouth to respond, but apparently, Zayn wasn’t finished.

                “Liam, I … I’ve liked you for so long that it’s just second nature to me now. To get butterflies in my stomach when you say my name. To blush every time you give me a compliment. To sit next to you and cuddle with you and watch movies and force myself not to kiss you. But I couldn’t do it anymore, and I just thought, for one wild moment, I thought you’d feel the same. And you don’t, I get that, you made that very clear, but this? This just makes it hurt more.”

                “Zayn, I …”

                “No. I think you’ve done enough. I just thought maybe I might be able to get back to a point where we could at least be friends again, but after this? I don’t see that happen-”

                 “I did all this because I like you, you fucking idiot!”

                Liam had yelled the words before he even knew what he was saying, and the moment they were out of his mouth, he knew he couldn’t go back. Zayn was now looking at him with a completely shocked expression; Liam never yelled at Zayn, never, but Liam couldn’t hold it in any longer. He couldn’t keep letting Zayn think that he was making fun of him.

                “What?” Zayn nearly whispered the word, and Liam threw his hands up in the air.

                “I fucking like you, Zayn. There, I said it. I’ve been trying everything in my power to get you to talk to me so I could tell you, but you wouldn’t fucking listen! That night, when you kissed me, I’m pretty sure I blacked out, or something, because I’ve been waiting a long time to kiss you, and it was better than I ever imagined. But I just … I knew the feelings were there but I didn’t want to believe them, and then it just happened and I didn’t know what to do, so obviously I went to Louis because he went through something similar with Harry, and I thought maybe he could help me sort out my thoughts, because I was fucking terrified and confused and I didn’t know what to do. And he did, he helped me a lot, and he told me to go back to you immediately and tell you the truth, but you were gone! And you didn’t come back all night and then you just left me in that room alone with my thoughts of self-loathing and regret because I should have just kissed you back and told you how I felt right then and there, but I was scared, alright? But right now, I just miss you terribly and I don’t know what to do to make it better so I thought maybe if I did this, you’d forgive me for being a complete asshole.”

                Liam was panting, finally having gotten all the words out he needed to, and he almost felt … lighter, in a way. He’d admitted it, out loud, to himself and to Zayn, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that every word he’d spoken was true. Zayn was just staring at him, all traces of anger gone from his face now. Liam waited with bated breath for Zayn to say something, but Zayn didn’t seem capable of words. Liam moved a step closer to him and put a hand tentatively on his arm.

                “Zayn …”

                “No … no, you have to be lying. You have a girlfriend, for fuck’s sake. You can’t want me and still be with her. That’s not how this works, not at all.” Zayn’s voice was trembling, but Liam didn’t have time to be nice about it. He just needed Zayn to understand.

                “No I don’t. I broke up with her. To be with you. If you’ll have me, that is. I couldn’t stand the thought of being with her anymore when I really wanted to be with you. So I called her and we’re done now. I tried to tell you the other day, but … mmmph-”

                Liam never got to finish his sentence, because Zayn had grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him into a searing kiss. Any thought of what he had been saying or what he was going to say was wiped from Liam’s mind as his arms wrapped around Zayn’s waist, pulling his lithe body in closer. His lips were just as soft as Liam remembered, and he couldn’t get enough of them. Zayn moaned into Liam’s mouth, and Liam licked his way into Zayn’s, nipping at his bottom lip as he did so. Liam felt hot, like his whole body was on fire, and all he could feel was Zayn.

                Zayn took a few steps forward, causing Liam to stumble back, their lips never parting as Liam’s back hit the wall and Zayn pressed his body against him. Liam melted into him, his hands fisting into Zayn’s shirt as his soft lips moved with Zayn’s chapped ones, like they were meant to be together. His brain was foggy, but he felt more aware than he ever had in his life. Zayn was kissing him. This was really happening.

                Their lips broke apart and Liam leaned his forehead against Zayn’s his eyes still closed as he tried to catch his breath. Zayn just had that effect on him; anything he did made Liam completely breathless.

                “Liam, I …” Zayn whispered, nudging Liam’s face and stealing another kiss, and Liam had to contain a moan.

                “Oi, lads, glad you made up and got your shit together, and everything, but we’ve gotta go.”

                Liam and Zayn broke apart again, both turning to look at Louis, who was standing in the doorway of the bus, Harry and Niall behind him. Liam felt the blush creeping up his cheeks, but he couldn’t stop smiling. He reached his hand out, and Zayn didn’t waste any time in taking it, lacing their fingers together. Louis smirked and moved aside to let them off the bus.

                Liam gave Louis a grateful look and Louis returned it with a smile, a genuine one which was usually only reserved for Harry and when he played pranks on Liam. But somehow, Liam felt that things had changed between him and Louis, and for the better.

                 Harry and Niall both rolled their eyes and whistled as Liam and Zayn hurried off the bus and headed for their own, their hands swinging between them. Liam was on top of the world, and when he looked over at Zayn, he saw that he was beaming, smiling more broadly than he had in weeks.

                 They got on their bus, which started up immediately, and Liam pulled out Ironman 2 from his coat pocket, holding it up. “Brought this over. Was hoping you’d watch it with me.”

                 “But you hate _Ironman_ …” Zayn said, and Liam laughed.

                “But you love it. And I think I can handle it for one night … with you.”

                Zayn grinned and placed a gentle kiss on Liam’s lips, leaving Liam’s head spinning as he went to put the movie in. He drew all the curtains, despite it still being dark out, and settled next to Zayn on the pullout couch. Zayn immediately cuddled under Liam’s arm, and Liam leaned over to kiss Zayn, unable to keep his lips off him for more than a few seconds. Zayn smiled into the kiss as Liam laid on his back, Zayn’s head on his chest, and the movie started.

***

                When they got to their next destination, Louis, Harry, and Niall boarded Bus 1 to find their other two bandmates asleep, their fingers still tangled together between them.

                “Guess they finally figured it out, eh?” Niall said softly, nudging Louis as he snapped a picture of them on his phone.

                “Yeah, I think so.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comments if you liked it!


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